The 3 O'clock Coffee Podcast

Anchoring Thoughts in the Sea of Now

January 03, 2024 Scott Proposki Season 2 Episode 17
The 3 O'clock Coffee Podcast
Anchoring Thoughts in the Sea of Now
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Picture this: you're sipping a perfectly brewed coffee amidst the rolling waves of the Atlantic, the vast ocean whispering tales of the present moment. That's where my good friend Brian Mullen and I found ourselves, ensconced in a floating café, musing over life's simple pleasures and complexities. Today's episode is an intimate foray into the art of staying grounded in the now, a challenge we all face in a world clamoring for our attention. As Brian unfolds his journey through the rigors of college and a future in broadcast journalism, we unpack the essence of mindfulness in the chaos, the sweet victory of recovered belongings, and the lure of personal growth through setting and achieving meaningful goals.

Amidst the ebb and flow of conversation, laughter, and the hum of the ship, we explore the quirks of navigating life with ADHD and the strategies that help us anchor our wandering minds. Whether it's the attachment of AirPods to keychains to avoid the pain of loss or the triumph of engrossing oneself in a book that reignites the love for reading, our exchange is a treasure trove of relatable anecdotes and insights. We ponder the 'point of no return' in our pursuits and the importance of carving a path towards success, one focused goal at a time. So, pull up a chair and join us on this voyage where being present isn't just a concept, it's the compass by which we navigate the seas of life and creativity.

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Speaker 1:

Always remember wash your wash happy, happy, smiley, smiley, wakey, wakey, coffee, coffee, eggs and bakey have a lovely breakfast and have a great day.

Speaker 3:

Welcome to the 3 o'clock coffee podcast, a place where extraordinary people network together to share meaningful stories that inspire others. Do you have a great story you would like to share with the world? If so, go to 3 o'clockcoffeecom and sign up today to be on our show. Thanks for listening and don't forget to click the subscribe button and tell a friend about the 3 o'clock coffee podcast.

Speaker 2:

Hello, my name is Scott Papasca and welcome to another edition of the 3 o'clock coffee podcast, and today is going to be a great afternoon and some coffee with my good friend, brian Mullen. Hey, scott, how are you? Brian, I'm doing fantastic. First off, what kind of coffee do you?

Speaker 1:

like you know, I'm kind of boring with my coffee. I guess I mostly drink like black coffee, like currently I'm drinking cold brew from Starbucks not sponsored.

Speaker 2:

Oh, by the way, you got, we're at a cafe, by the way, but we're in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. We are. We're looking at the ocean going by. We're in the middle of the Amur Triangle on a cruise. It's pretty wild, and Brian I'm Matt, of course, I've known Brian for a long time, but we would just sit outside the cafe. Well, you know, as a cruise boat is cruising through the ocean, hopefully we're not getting lost in the Amur Triangle. No, hopefully not. No, hopefully not. Hopefully they hear this podcast. And you know, brian and I we were talking and it was like I hope to enjoy your free time. Here we are on a cruise. Bro. Brian's a college student at the University of Lowell in Lowell, massachusetts, taking up broadcast journalism. He has a couple more semesters. He's always thinking about school, always thinking about that next shiny object. I think everybody can relate to that.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, I heard of that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's shiny in here. It's so shiny I tell ya. For me it's been really difficult to actually be in the now. The now is like enjoying the cruise and family and friends and being present. And you can look at me and you think I'm here, but I'm not here, I'm somewhere else. I mean, as a college student, you're getting into a real world. Why don't you join the now? Like, what are you doing?

Speaker 1:

I mean, I definitely understand the whole. Sometimes it is really hard to be present and in the now I think that's a honestly a challenge for a lot of people.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, right. Yeah, I'm the first to admit that I have ADHD and staying focused on one thing is almost impossible for me. But again, that's my unique ability and it gives me time to think about things and be creative.

Speaker 1:

But sometimes you gotta switch that off and kind of enjoy your free time you really do like be able to switch your brain off and just relax and just reset and recharge is incredibly important to just life in general, not let alone like productivity or anything else like that. You just need to.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, maybe it's. I tell you I'm trying, I'm struggling with it, but I think I did a pretty good job about enjoying the time. But yet again, you and I got to sit down and do this podcast. My mind was always thinking already Now, wow, brian would be great for this podcast. So again, my mind's thinking. But it's thinking creativity. Yeah, sometimes when I'm on vacation it's like free time. It gives me the idea of being creative, right? Because when you're too busy you really can't think of being creative.

Speaker 1:

Right, it's hard to be creative when you're drawn down by other things going on. Sometimes you just need that free vision of whether it be like whatever you're doing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, right, that's a big question. If you listen to this podcast right now, if you're on vacation or you're going on vacation, you think about being what I call the now, being in the now. And I've actually talked to somebody yesterday about this, about being in the now and trying to be my future self, and I'm like what do you mean by future self? I'm like my future self like now, right now. What do you mean right now? I said well, the past already has gone by, Like two seconds ago. That's the past, and I'm trying to be my future self in the next minute or two. Right, I'm always going towards my future self, which is right now. So you have a vision of your future self, you going towards it, which is happening when, right now.

Speaker 1:

No, no, right the second.

Speaker 2:

I mean, you got to get a little mind game going on too, but I'm always in the now or thinking about my future self or being my future self, because I already know what my future self is. Yeah, makes sense. So, I don't know, some people will look at me a little funny. No, that makes perfect sense to me. Yeah, right. I mean you need to know when to do one, right yeah, no true, but I mean it's really important because I was right now we're talking about writing in our journals Earlier this morning over coffee at that time, right yeah, and I was flipping through my pages and I was looking back one year ago from this month which would have been August of 2021, where August of 2022 was recorded right now and I noticed in my journal that I wrote the same damn thing that I wrote last year.

Speaker 1:

It's funny oftentimes, like I found in my journals. I do that too, where it's like you know, sometimes you just processing the same emotions or even just some of the same thoughts at similar points of year, or even just like whatever it really is. It's very interesting to go back and read that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, I will say that I wrote like gosh maybe 10 or 12 different things. But out of the 10 and 12 things, there was one thing that I wrote that I already did and that I was doing, that I completed. And on that list, brian, it said that I was gonna write three books. So probably, yeah, I had one or two books already in the queue and I actually did write and finish three books and I'm like, well, that's quite a accomplishment, right, that's a very huge accomplishment. So I kind of thought about that today and I kind of felt beat myself up. Then I didn't do the 11 out of the 12 things I said I was gonna do one year ago.

Speaker 1:

But I mean, if you think about it too, how big were those other 11 things on your list? Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2:

I mean, it's my future self, so in the next, you know if I complete the other 11 things on the next 11 years. They were big things. They were big things I wanted to do, but I was always thinking of the future of what I want to do. Yeah Right, so it just mattered and I didn't say when I was going to do it.

Speaker 1:

No, I mean you can always have plans and ideas set in mind for like wanting to do it forward, you know, but like you're not going to accomplish it tonight, no, I think that's important, it's a very important thing to realize.

Speaker 2:

Hey, let's talk about something else. So I knew you and I were really similar to mindsets, but you mentioned something earlier today about you know I mean again talking about the ADHD mind how we lose everything. I mean I'm not allowed to buy any more iPad, ipad pros for the years you know, wireless devices. I've lost three pairs. I'm not allowed in my business to purchase another pair.

Speaker 1:

I'm so shocked I have not lost my one pair that I bought but I picked up on something I didn't mention before this.

Speaker 2:

But you said that you have your wireless iPod iPods. Right, but you had it attached to your key chain.

Speaker 1:

I do have it attached to my keys. That's brilliant. It feels really smart, so it's like it's less things for me to lose. I also, when I like, when I leave a house or come home, I leave them in the exact same spot, so I cannot lose them. But I purposely like make sure I do that because I would lose it otherwise.

Speaker 2:

See, that's what I call triggers. Right, it's a trigger that you do that forces you to either pay attention or make sure that you do something. Right, it's a trigger. So key chain, ipods, it all triggers one thing right.

Speaker 1:

I know I've done it. I've lost like important or expensive things enough in the past that I've tried to like, especially with things that are commonly being used. All the time I make like set triggers. What are you talking about to like?

Speaker 2:

remember how many times have you lost your keys? Oh my gosh Right. Ask my mom, she'll probably know. Oh gosh, now wait. I mean it means to the Nassie you're always losing.

Speaker 1:

I mean, I was my phone a lot, but I usually I find it I've never like actually just straight up lost, Absolutely yeah.

Speaker 2:

So it's a misplaced sport. I was this week. We're on a cruise boat If you haven't listened to the show earlier. We've mentioned that Brian and I in the middle of the perimeter triangle in the Atlantic Ocean and we're talking about losing things. And I lost my iPhone. I was in the library because I'm like writing and reading. I was writing. I was writing my journal and I got back to my room and I didn't have my phone in the middle of nowhere Right and I'm trying. You know, the ship was blocked and I'm trying to hang out, but somebody some nice person turned it in and I got my phone back. But yeah, that's a difficult day for me, losing everything.

Speaker 1:

It's definitely a struggle like trying to deal with losing things all the time. I do it too, Still yeah.

Speaker 2:

Right, well, you know, I had a coach who told me, if you can anticipate a problem, you don't have a problem. That's true. So you anticipate that losing them, but you don't have a problem. But yeah, you figured out a trigger, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Exactly, that's pretty good. No, luckily that person did find your phone, though without having bad Right, I feel like oh, my gosh.

Speaker 2:

I mean, there were some nice people in the world, right? No, they're definitely, but again, she was just standing by. Because now it is, you got to type in the code.

Speaker 1:

Generally, it's like if someone finds an iPhone they're probably like oh, who's this? Belong to Somebody lost.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean that's useless. Yeah, right, relatively Right. So you know, talk about, I mean, even as a small, and we've got coffee, but you had a book with you. I had a book with me because we didn't know if I'd have some downtime to review the books. So we've been on a trip per week, brian, yeah Right. So how much have you read in your book?

Speaker 1:

I'm like it's like a 400 page book. I'm like 160 pages, six, seven chapters, I think, of the book. Like, obviously chapters can be kind of relative, but yeah you make a progress?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I make progress.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I was actually like a pretty big reading slump before this. I haven't really read a book in like a couple years, I just haven't, you must be really interested in this book. Yeah, and like I just haven't been able to, like sit down, concentrate, relax, like relax, read a book.

Speaker 2:

In the now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Literally, but like you know, I kind of like lost enjoyment in reading, I guess, in whatever way. Really Like I guess it was more focused, I guess. But I actually read three books last month which we're very proud of, and then I am working on Hopefully reading at least one this month. I want to try to read 10 books by the end of the year.

Speaker 2:

So your future self has made the commitment to how many books you're gonna read. Yeah, tell me, I will. So if you didn't make that goal, probably wouldn't happen, right?

Speaker 1:

No, probably not. That's good. No, I'm fairly certain I should be able to take it by hand in a year or two, wow.

Speaker 2:

I mean the other reason why I kind of like, really kind of push the point on here I'm reading the book because, again, a, b, h, d, mine if you listen to this, you know the podcast is all about me and different extraordinary people from all different places around the world. We just happen to be in the middle of a triangle, but I, like people with ADHD, couldn't even fathom a read that book. Yeah, I mean not, I'm no clinical doctor and psychologist, but you and I kind of joke about our jokes about different things. Oh, that's my ADD, right. But I mean you don't really need a clinical diagnosis. For me it's pretty obvious. But that's okay, you know, I know it and but like I can, I read six or seven books last month. That's incredible what I was recovering from three major surgeries and I did how much going on.

Speaker 1:

but they're all pretty good and accomplished.

Speaker 2:

But I'm really focusing on really like the books and I'm really interested in the books. I'm going to read it, I'm going to stick to it. I'm going to stick to it until like glue, which I think it's really important for the people that don't read books, because books read books great. But if you find a book you love, like anything else, find a book I love, you're going to stick to it and read it right, like I'm reading, like this extremely nerdy sci-fi series right now.

Speaker 1:

You know, and that's just what I'm into right now.

Speaker 2:

So probably about 99% of the listeners on the show are probably going to want to know the title of this book.

Speaker 1:

It's like so what is it right now? I'm reading right now it's like from this like tabletop game thing. It's called Warhammer 40,000. The book I'm reading right now is called the Flight of the Eisenstein. It's pretty good so far.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, my book's a little bit different. Probably Mine's a little bit different. I'm reading the Psychology of Money. I don't have in front of me. I should know the name of the author. I do, but sorry about that. Psychology of Money, yeah, a little different for me than you.

Speaker 1:

Those are very two drastically different books. I love them though.

Speaker 2:

It's actually a little bit about history, not only psychology. Yeah, so real quick. You know a little ADD here, going off on a different road here, but again it's all about me and extraneous people doing extraordinary things. In the book Psychology of Money they talk about a lot of people can make money, but a lot of people keep money. And they do references to these two people in 1934, 1920 to 1934, where they're historical people, right, how they've made tons of money in the stock market and then the stock market that crashed in 1934, how they lost everything. And today you know this room is a recession, the stock market's going up and down and if you watch stocks it's all about history, performance, right, and you know right now to know more about the stock market that crashed in 1934 is like it's kind of interesting.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's history. It's funny. I feel like you always hear about people like a lot of the time you hear about people making money. You don't really hear a lot of stories about people losing money or like being able to keep it, which is like really interesting to be.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, exactly. Actually, they talked about in the book how people that are on like Fortune 500 magazine or Fortune magazine they actually will have. You know, a young individual that got lucky and made millions of dollars on TikTok right, I mean that's, that's luck, right. But I can guarantee you, if they interview this one person, whoever it may be I'm kind of making it up because we all talk, we all know somebody that in the news had made a million dollars on TikTok but if you look back on statistics and history, if they go back and interview this person five years from today, they'll probably be broke.

Speaker 1:

Possibly yeah. Yeah, might be Possibly yeah.

Speaker 2:

Which kind of leads me to another story about, you know, making money and keeping money. I just finished a book called Focus on the Profits. Oh, by the way, a little plug in there called Focus on the Profitscom we can download the free book for free. So it's pretty cool. Download the book Focus on the profits. It got me to really realize. You know, people with ADHD, we do stupid things sometimes. Oh yeah, I mean, everything's out of people. It's time for us. It's not stupid, but I mean it wouldn't. Be well, it's kind of like the time where I was coming home one day and I stopped by the BMW dealership and I ended up driving home when a brand new BMW. You know, yeah, scott does things like that, but have you do anything like that, brian?

Speaker 1:

I would say not as drastic as a BMW, but I've definitely just been like, oh, maybe I'll stop at this, like random thing in Bob, I've definitely gone home with something I was planning on going home with. Yeah, I've definitely done that before.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you know we talk about businesses and saving money and making money. You know, when you're in ADHD, it's spontaneous purchase.

Speaker 1:

Oh, yes, right, I have made many spontaneous purchases in my life.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's like. So it's like you know you can be really unique and you know, have a great company, you can make a lot of money and do a lot of things. But I'm researching a lot of people that don't focus on the profits. They lose everything. Don't ask me why I'm intrigued by this. It's probably because of the pandemic and how some businesses have just flourished Right and other ones have tanks. I'm in the middle where I'm like I just want to enjoy free time and be in the now and be able to cruise on on a cruise boat in the middle of the triangle. That's success for me. Yeah, no, totally, but yeah. So it's really about you know keeping money and making money. And you and I talk about you graduating from college. Mm-hmm, two lessons. Yeah, I should be out in May, hopefully. And what is the one thing we talked about today? We talked about don't focus on anything else, just you know, focus on this?

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, I know it's definitely. I'm trying to keep my focus on, like, just getting out graduating. That's my main focus, you know. Anything else, it's got distractions.

Speaker 2:

Nothing else matters right now. Right, You're too close. Yeah, it's what I call. You're at a point of no return.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, Right there's no return. Like there's absolutely no point to stop down.

Speaker 2:

Right, you know and people do that in business you get to a point of no return. I call it a point of no return. You're so deep into this business you may be spending a ton of money on it. Yeah, You're invested in. You're too invested into it. So you know something to think about, right. Being in the now. Yeah, getting through joining a different time, now on cruising the Bermuda Triangle, and just focusing on one thing. And focusing on your school, your last two, you know, last semester, last two courses, right, last two classes, and focusing on the one thing. And I've learned that it always came down to those two things being in the now, focusing on the now, be present, whatever you're doing, and focusing on one thing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and it is funny. Or two, because it like I think you were talking about this earlier too, but you know it's a lot harder than it sounds sometimes focusing on the now and to be focusing on like what? Your goal? Right, but your future self? Yeah, your future self, everything like that. But it is important to try to keep that mindset and, like, go forward with it, you know.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I, you know, if you listen to this, maybe you had a business, maybe you haven't, maybe you have to think about doing a business and you're all over the place. We've all been there. You were there. I totally understand. If you don't get anything out of this podcast and you listen to this, just take a moment and think about focusing on the one thing. You know that one thing, and for you, it's school right now. Focus on that, oh yeah. And for me, I'm really focusing on my future self. We're going to be one year from today and it makes for that all alliance. And yeah, you know, like I'm not going to open up a pizza shop. I don't know anything about pizza shops, right? Yeah, you ask people to write another book or, you know, talk to authors. I'm probably going to do really well with it, right, but yeah, focus on the one thing. So on, that looks like the cafe is getting busy here with Brian.

Speaker 1:

It is A lot more movement.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think that you might want to see the cafe. Last words, one thing if you could do anything you wanted to right now is one thing, and you had a magic wand, and I'm throwing this on you because I want you to think real quick what can you be? What's the one thing you'd like to do right now? Right now.

Speaker 1:

Oh my God, that's a hard question Right now. What would you like to do, like? I mean so like in school I've been working towards like getting a digital media degree, so like I've been working with cameras and all of like everything that surrounds that field. So I guess, like, probably if I could be doing something immediately would be like working on a film set like wow, like even just the camera person on that would be really cool, wow.

Speaker 2:

Okay. So If you're listening to the show you know any connections. Are Brian that hey think big right, if you work at NBC and you know somebody that's you need a great set and somebody on the camera set piss up for the show at the three o'clock coffee podcast, and we want to make Brian to be working at NBC Hollywood set somewhere and we could interview you one year from today, interview your future self being at NBC studios, at Hollywood studios. That would be a pretty wild. So let's make a commitment to your future self that one year from today, we're doing this interview on NBC, talking to you. How's that?

Speaker 1:

That would be pretty wild so what we know.

Speaker 2:

We just sit here. Yeah, we just accomplished your future goals. We are going to be working from today. Yeah, so that was pretty cool, right, that was pretty cool. So you listen to the show, think about what you want thing is what's your one thing? You want to be in your future self one year from today. Find more information about the three o'clock coffee podcast. Go to the three o'clock coffee podcastcom. Want to be in the show? Join us. Doesn't matter who you are, where you are or anywhere in the world.

Speaker 1:

You don't have to be on a boat in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean for it.

Speaker 2:

Hopefully you don't lost it, maybe you're trying.

Speaker 1:

Who knows, this could be the last time you hear from us.

Speaker 2:

No, not Okay, so with that let's tune in next week to see if we survive All right over and out. Thanks a lot and don't forget to grab your coffee, brian.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, I can't forget it. Thanks for joining me at the three o'clock coffee. Thank you, scott, I really appreciate it. All right, adios, bye.

The Importance of Being Present
Avoiding Loss, Maximizing Reading Progress
Focus on the Now and One Thing